|Suki Sivam - Pic courtesy: www.oruwebsite.com|
OLD DIARY... continued
Now coming back to my experiences – I realized a quality of mine. I kept learning things from people and felt myself outgrowing them very fast. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my servants, my husband, my in-laws, my children, my friends, my colleagues, my sisters, my brothers-in-law, my nephews and nieces, the list is endless.
Then I kept feeling that everything happening in my life, every event, even very small things were different lessons for me to learn from. I kept thinking that I kept getting MESSAGES.
Whenever I grew desperate I used to pray to God and I used to always get guidance, usually in the form of a book, which a friend of mine used to suddenly give me – out of the blue – or in some kind of a writing in the newspaper or in some lecture I attended of Suki Sivam or Acharya Akshayamathiji of Kalki Mandir.
One thing I was clear about, always listen to the other with an open mind, without judgement and just take what suits you and leave the rest. This attitude has been a great help. Sometimes people comment, a man espousing spirituality should not be married, some say he should not ask for money, etc. etc. Is that what we are seeking from him? This is just a waste of energy trying to speculate on how the other person’s mind works. We have to look within and keep choosing what we want to be.
My childhood friend Anu introduced me to the Kalki Dharma. I could relate to it because of the freedom in thinking. Whenever some of the gurus placed any restrictions, I used to turn a deaf ear and take only what suited me. Once, when I spoke to Acharyaji, [she’s extremely young but a very knowledgeable soul] I mentioned that I didn’t enjoy all the lectures since they placed some kind of restrictions and some of them insisted that I do some things which I felt would take me away from my family. I was not in agreement to this idea. She very sweetly advised me to do what I thought best and she had but one request of me that I should pray regularly. And here, she did not mean formal prayer; this is about conversing with God.
Now, for those who don’t know, KALKI DHARMA is an extension of our Hindu Dharma. Kalki is Mahavishnu’s tenth avatar and appears on this earth every 24000 years. The purpose of His birth is to take us out of Kaliyugam and place us in the Sathyugam. This again has created a lot of controversy amongst the people.
The people prefer the place of God to be in the scriptures. The very idea that He must be amongst us has probably put the fear of God in them [excuse the pun]. But that’s the funniest part of it. God and Fear are the very opposite of each other.
I attended a vara yagna with Anu about five years back. This is not a yagna as in havan. These are basically classes training you to think or rather unthink what you have been thinking all these years. Suited me just fine; just what I had been looking for. To my great surprise, I got a number of visions during these classes [I had believed that God was someone who lived UP there].