BHAGAVAN PUTS ME IN 'BREAKTHROUGH'

I attended the Super Process at the Oneness Temple from March 1 to 3, 2012. Whenever I have attended courses at Oneness University, I get a number of visions and many experiences. This time round, I had just one vision and no experience at all. But then, the Oneness Processes very rarely get completed during the course. They continue even after we return home.

About a couple of weeks after getting back to Mumbai, I was lying down on the sofa in my hall in front of the Srimurti. It was at about 10.30 am and I was not feeling too energetic and that’s why I was lying in that position praying that Amma Bhagavan help me.

Suddenly, I saw Amma and Bhagavan sitting on my right side. Bhagavan told me that He was going to give me healing and remove all the blocks in my system. Amma silently slid under my head and held me in her lap. Bhagavan placed his hands on my stomach, much to my surprise. He explained that the blocks are generally embedded in the abdomen and hence He needed to give me healing there.

I thought that this process will happen for a few minutes and settled down to just receive it. After about an hour, I realized that a lot of time had passed and Bhagavan was still giving me deeksha. I suddenly felt sorry for Amma holding my heavy head and shoulders on her lap for such a long time. The moment this thought came into me, Amma said, “I am perfectly fine Sundari, you just relax.” Tears rolled down my face at the love both Amma and Bhagavan have for me and how hard they were working at removing my blocks.

Another thought came into me that I had not eaten anything since morning. The moment this thought came, Bhagavan said, “All the better to receive the deeksha. It works best on an empty stomach.” There was no arguing that, of course.

I needed to use the toilet twice in the middle of the process. Both times, Bhagavan was kind enough to let me go, while both of them awaited my return. I love you AB!

Finally, it was 2.40 pm when Bhagavan lifted His hands from my stomach. He told me that it had taken that long to remove all the vasanas from all of my 525 plus the present 526th janam on this earth. I could well understand that.

Amma and Bhagavan left after completing their work and I got up with aching arms and legs. A few days went on with me expecting thundering miracles in my life. After about 10 days, my mind started playing. I could see myself sliding into a breakdown while my mind pointed out what all Amma Bhagavan could have done to improve my life and had not despite removing ALL the blocks.

I started fighting with Bhagavan when I was doing my namaskarams at night when I suddenly stopped. I told Amma Bhagavan that I will not talk to them while they could talk to me and that I will just do their ‘naama japa’ until some earth-shattering miracle happened in my life.

After a day had passed, I began to realize that I had been pushed into doing this by the Divine Himself. Over the next four days, whenever I woke up, instead of talking to AB as I usually do, I began chanting ‘Amma Bhagavan’ or ‘Moola Mantra’ or kept saying ‘Muruga Muruga’. I also did this whenever my mind began to say something. I did not allow it to talk at all. This continued even during the time I woke up in the middle of the night.

At the end of the fourth day, the earth did shatter around me - I felt such a powerful sense of peace steal over me. I have never felt such peace in my memory. And something else also had happened. I was in total BREAKTHROUGH. I have felt myself in breakthrough and breakdown states many times. It had always seemed like the movement of the pendulum – going back and forth. My Breakthrough states have remained for about 3-4 days at one stretch, at the most.

Today, the state I am in is entirely God given. Every day, I thank Amma Bhagavan for keeping me in Breakthrough over the past 24 hours and at the same time request them to continue keeping me in Breakthrough for the next 24 hours. Nothing else, just that!

THE DIVINE HAS MADE ME REALISE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO LIFE!

ANANTA KODI NAMASKARAM TO MY AMMA BHAGAVAN!

THE PRESSURE OF BEING PUNCTUAL

I used to feel the pressure of Being Punctual 24/7. This was years ago, before Bhagavan intervened in my life, of course.

I remember that I used to keep checking the clock or my watch every few minutes to ensure that things got done on time and I should not get late.

Most of the time, I managed to get things done very much on time. There were some times when I have been a few minutes late and these were the instances I used to drive myself crazy.

After Bhagavan took over my life as my Antaryaamin, things became different. He pulled me out of this pressure in a humorous fashion.

One day, the clock in my kitchen stopped working. I changed the batteries, but it stopped again after a couple of days. I realized that it would not work and just threw it away. Somehow, I never got around to buying a new one.

Soon, the clock in my bedroom stopped working and the same things followed as before.

Then it was the turn of the hall clock, then my watch. Many of my friends and family have noticed and commented on how I never wear a watch. The Sundari of yonder days used to go to sleep wearing a watch.

I soon realized that I had no easy access to finding the time. I asked Bhagavan, “Why?”

He said simply, “You are always in a state of tension trying to stick to time. Just talk to me and do your work. Everything will get done without pressure.”

I listened and followed but there is this sense of habit and the mind – there was no escape at that point from either. I kept feeling the need to check the time even after all this.

I was a mite worried about buying an expensive watch – I used to wear a Titan gold-plated watch that got spoilt. By now, there were no clocks in the hall, my bedroom and kitchen. The clock in my kids’ room never got spoilt as Bhagavan said that I spent the least time there. He was simply amazing, the way He went about changing my life for the better.

I purchased a simple watch for Rs. 300 (this was in 2003) and wore it. It lasted for exactly 2 days. I went and had a fight with the shopkeeper in Sion, not quite aware that it was the Divine’s play. I went to another shop and got one more watch in the same range. That also broke down in a couple of days. Amazing, isn’t it?

I told this story to my friend Pooja. She told me, “Sundari, don’t waste any more money on buying watches. I have an old watch that has never stopped in 9 years. I have a new one that I use now. I keep this because my father had given it to me. This does not run on batteries and you have to wind it up every day. Nothing can go wrong with it.” Neither of us knew Bhagavan’s plans at that point.

I took the watch from her and wore it. It ran for a bit longer this time – 3 days. The watch that had never stopped working in 9 years, stopped in just 3 days the moment it came to me. Frustrated, I gave it back to Pooja. You might find this difficult to believe, but the watch started working within 24 hours of leaving my possession.

That’s when I finally accepted that Bhagavan is not going to allow me to wear a watch. What we must understand here is that He was not forcing His Will on me. He was helping me get rid of the tension clock-watching was giving me.

Within a couple of months, I so got used to telling Bhagavan to handle things, get things ready on time and do the work. It works like magic to this day – everything gets done at the right time, without tension. I can guess the time correctly at any given point in time, without breaking a blood vessel over it. I am at peace. What more can I ask?

Today, I so well understand it when my Antaryaamin Bhagavan says, “Break habits Sundari. Those are the work of the ancient mind. You fall into a pattern and keep doing things without paying attention to them. Then you slide into a rut. Break habits and keep doing things differently. If you don’t know how, ask me.”

After all, I am sure you can understand, this is advice from the DIVINE.

Today, I keep telling myself that I would like to purchase a watch for decorative purposes, but never have the heart to buy one. There are clocks in the hall and my bedroom. I very rarely feel the urge to turn and look at them. I don’t think in terms of numbers when it comes to time. I have left it to the Divine to organize my timetable.

I make vague plans and inform Bhagavan. Many things get done, some don’t. And I always know that the things that are the best and most important for me always get done, at the RIGHT TIME. He takes care of it, diligently and with unconditional love.

LIFE IS DEFINITELY MORE PEACEFUL NOWADAYS! THANK YOU MY BHAGAVAN! I LOVE YOU!